In a Word: My Ins, Outs, and Word of the Year
Most people who love year-end have more pure, productive reasons for it. Me? New Year's Eve is my second favorite holiday because I love the reason for wearing more sparkles. I love the recap videos. I love the excuse to get friends together and create a menu for the night. I love the fanfare of a ball drop, a disco theme, and a room filled with strobe lights.
So it should be no surprise that I don't usually choose a word of the year. I've long admired the practice but hardly bother with it myself. Except for 2019. And except for 2024.
In 2019, I chose the word "openness." When I briefly mentioned that choice in a later blog post, I wrote, "I intended for it to be a reminder that I should open up to people more and be open to new experiences and changes—even ones I didn’t initiate for myself."
And, for reasons I can't explain, I felt the need to choose a word for 2024. I'm not sure that I chose the word as much as it just came to me: Less.
I've been doing the most for a long time. It's not all bad—I go to great lengths to choose thoughtful gifts for my friends, cook elaborate dinners some weeknights for the joy of it, and dive deep into highly debated topics until I feel like I could teach a course on them.
But I've also overworked as a trauma response. I've overspent on random, small things for the dopamine hit. I've over-saved, hoarding money for the warmth of the security blanket that was once ripped from me and my plan to buy an overpriced townhome by myself in the city (ha, I got a husband and a house in the suburbs instead!).
For years, my life has felt divided into "before I lost my job in 2018" and after. Before, I learned hand-lettering for fun, painted watercolor poems, and spent my weekends curled up with a book for hours. Afterward, I dropped most of my hobbies, took almost every freelance gig offered to me, and spent my weekends writing things I was being paid to write.
I resolved never to get caught slipping again. The cost of my feelings of financial security were great: I never had time to write for myself anymore, I was constantly stressed about deadlines, and every fun, creative idea I had remained just a fun, creative idea for almost five years. I maintained multiple streams of income for most of those years. I worked three jobs for most of the same year I was planning my wedding. It was...a lot.
That's why I'm committing to less in 2024. I'm going to learn how to relax and do nothing. I'm going to start traveling without my laptop. I'm going to turn my fun, creative ideas into a fun, creative life again.
In this first week of the year when everyone is talking about what they want to improve and increase, I hope you'll notice where you need to pull back, too. Most of us need to do less in some areas and more in others. I hope you quit something. I want to see you pick something back up that life forced you to put down. My wish for you is that at some point in this life, you're granted more time for true fulfillment, contentment, and the delight of doing things not because they make you money or look impressive, but just because you want to.
In addition to choosing a word of the year, I did another thing I don't usually do: I made one of those "ins and outs" lists that became popular on social media in recent years. I love them; they're usually snarky, funny, and filled with things someone thinks should be in or out for everyone. But mine are just for me. I hope you find them amusing, though.
in
outfit repeating
karaoke
dinner parties
mental health walks
fancy/flavored olive oil
reading books at bars
styling my closet
spontaneous generosity
music with hopeful lyrics
coworking with friends
movie nights
agreeing to disagree
hours-long reading sessions
doing my own nails
investment pieces
having one job
out
buying random clothes
fear of being perceived
restaurants with no reservations
web md
protein powder
trying to like champagne
renting clothes for no special reason
tv shows everyone is talking about
working past 6pm
forgetting to check my bank account
daily true crime shows
wearing sweatpants “to work”
youtube rabbit holes in bed
debating conservatives
mindless social media scrolling
having appointments for everything all the time
almost everything amazon
the hustle
If you, like me, want to do less in 2024, here are a few things that might help.
I've been meaning to read this article about how to rest since Christmas break.
I'll be referencing this Want vs. Need Guide when shopping.
A few "do less" books that have been on my list are:
How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Work Won't Love You Back: How Devotion to Our Jobs Keeps Us Exploited, Exhausted, and Alone
In Good Time: 8 Habits for Reimagining Productivity, Resisting Hurry, and Practicing Peace
This article from Glamour about the increasingly popular "soft girl revolution" and the rejection of girlboss culture is also on my list.
I'll know I'm fully living into my word of the year when I'm soaking in the bathtub with a face mask and reading print magazines again. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way.
May 2024 bring less of what drains you and more of what fills your soul,
—Shannon